Best dating joke ever

—Phoebe Robinson A joke written by my friend and writing partner, Ahamefule Oluo: What do you call Neil de Grasse Tyson pouring champagne all over his naked chest? K.'s joke about how you could tell how bad of a person you were by how long it took you after 9/11 to masturbate—for him it was between the first building going down and the second tower going down. He had a joke: The other day I got out of the car and this little boy was walking by.

I no longer have to grow them in my closet under my weed lamp.

When you are in denial about your part in the relationship then you are no better than a child flinging sand at another child in a sandbox.

When you take responsibility for your part in the marriage, only then will you be able to connect with your partner in a mature, intimate way. Research consistently shows that touching more creates a stronger bond by releasing oxytocin.

She comes out every day, gets on her horse, takes the horse for a ride, comes back, goes in the house.

On the ranch, there's a beautiful girl, the daughter of the man who owns the ranch.

For more including videos and profiles of the comedians, click here. Cook regarded him with his sepulchral deadpan before quietly pointing out that Moore's problem was in the leg division: "You are deficient in it"—raised me because my parents didn't have time. And then Chevy Chase turns his over and it's full of water and it's going all over him, and then he throws it out. The funniest joke I think I ever heard is part of Jerry Seinfeld's airplane material from his late-nineties special.

But I still wanted to use it, so I crossed it out and wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, Dad. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator." This letter took a really harsh turn right away. There's this scene where Martin Short, Steve Martin, and Chevy Chase are all on horses in the desert and they are all superthirsty and they all have canteens. And then he gets a thing of lip balm and just starts putting it on his lips, and to the other guys he's like, "Lip balm? There's one line where he's describing the way flight attendants look at you when they're closing the curtain to first class: "Well, maybe if you worked a little harder, I wouldn't have to do this." —Gabe Liedman It's from Anthony Jeselnik: When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

An exciting combination of RTS and RPG, the multiplayer battle arena mod for Warcraft III (based on a modded map from Star Craft) is a lot of things: simple to understand, difficult to master, and most of all, utterly addictive.

In its early days Dot A was a project that was passed from modder to modder, and like an unending stream of creeps it eventually spread through the gaming world to become a massive hit, as well as the first lanepushing game to have sponsored tournaments.

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