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I’m a 45-year-old single woman, attractive in a big girl kind of way, and I write science and health articles. My instinct is that disclosing this information will cloud their already mind-blown status, and it’s really none of their business. For the rest of the day, insecure “thought bubbles” plague my every move. As I searched the jobs and gigs sections on craigslist, I noticed the personals section, divided up into “strictly platonic, men seeking men, women seeking women, men seeking women…” and so on. I could get arrested, killed, infected, raped, robbed and/or recognized (because you never know). And getting paid for sex seemed like a quick and easy way to get it. I was good at sex, and I was a bit of a thrill-seeker. Anyway, there was no guarantee I would get a response to my ad. When I came out of the bedroom, he offered me a glass of water. The fourth was another man in his 30s and very handsome. * * * A few days later, the NYU professor sent me an email asking me to come back.
It’s really good, possibly the best margarita I’ve ever tasted. The following afternoon, a weekday, I was in the back of a taxicab on my way to Client #1. The thought that I might die wasn’t as horrifying as the thought that I might die doing sex work. I don’t remember anything he said because I was practically having an out-of-body experience. The night I lost my virginity to a seventeen-year old boy that I liked, his best friend showed up in the middle of everything. He told me to lie down on his bed, and slipped a sleeping mask over my eyes.
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